I've just finished grading exams (yes, I have to do that on top of lab reports--oh, joy!) and all I can say is, there were points when I couldn't believe what I was grading. The other TAs and I had this little joke since the beginning of the semester: whenever there was a question about Gram staining, Alexander Graham Bell would be lurking about as a "trick answer". We thought it would be obvious to the students that Bell had no place in a microbiology lab. Boy, were we wrong.
And now, even at the end of the semester, some people still don't think that Alexander Graham Bell had anything to do with the telephone.
The semester is drawing to a close and obviously, everything is piling up. Exams (cringe). Committee meeting (double cringe). Grading undergraduate lab reports (a long protracted scream and running away). I have a bunch of half-finished book reviews that have been sitting around for the past month that I might end up posting sometime this week, but other than that, expect me to be, er, rather absent from the blogosphere for the next couple of weeks.
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Giving an Academic Talk. If I were the type of person to get a tattoo, I'd put this on my forehead (along with the aforementioned FAQ).
Nature, Nurture, or No Chance in Hell? Well, aside from the fact that I find it hilarious that Kurt Vonnegut referred to writers' conferences as budding yeast, I'm not so sure if it's one or the other. I feel very left out when all the other zealous writers say they've been storytellers since they were wee babes. I didn't. When I was seven, I wasn't telling stories. I was focusing on surviving the three (or was it four?) different schools I was being shuttled in and out of. The first time I actually enjoyed penning a story was in fourth grade for an assignment. It was a terribly cliched story starring a hard-boiled detective, a femme fatale, and a rich bad guy.
Page Numbering Question. I don't number my pages. I date them. And unlike Neil Gaiman, I am too cheap to buy nice blank journals to write my stories in. Well, I do have blank journals, but they're the cheapo kind and even then, I got them on sale. And I only brainstorm in them. Still, it's very interesting to look into a Famous Author's process.
Guidelines for Writing Literary Fiction. Fans of romantic fiction point out that literary fiction has its formula too--emotional hangups, dysfunctional relationships, irrelevant minutiae, unhappy endings. Yep, literary fiction would have to be a kind of genre, too.
After yet another "interrogation" by a random Asian person, I think I need an FAQ for real life. Probably stapled to my forehead. If you are an Asian person, you know what I mean. The thing that has me so mad is that these questions are an attempt to pigeonhole me into some sort of ethnicity. Who the freakin' cares? My ethnicity doesn't define me. In fact, only knowing my ethnicity and "origins" won't tell you anything about me at all.
My ancestors may have given me my looks (or lack of), but they didn't make me what I am.
Critical Mass. (via Juno Books) On one hand, I think this is an attempt by the book critics to save their jobs. I mean, who cares how many column inches you have on paper when you have unlimited electrons on the internet? Who cares about critics who only babble about the "literary and serious writers" when you can read someone's opinion of virtually any book on Amazon? If the critics truly want to hang on to their turf, they should make a real effort at critically examining all books, not just the pretentious.
Crying at the Office. Um, I do not do this. I admit, there were times that I could have, but I didn't. I never indulge in hysterics. But I don't expect praise either. I suppose I'm a little too cynical (for a hypothetical 2Blowhards' twenty-something) for anything to faze me.
Onesome: The-- marketing of goods and services. ...and the things they do to try to get us to buy their products! Are there any advertisments or commercials that really stand out to you right now?
No.
Twosome: Cola-- cola, cola: which cola do you drink? ...or do you? ...or the UnCola? (Do you remember that ad campaign?)
No.
Threesome: Wars?-- Are there any good advertising wars going on in your area? Burgers, newspapers, ISPs?
Every time I pass the library lobby, I see a display of student art. This semester, it's clothing designed to reflect contemporary issues. Frankly, I find the art very bad.
Sure, just call me an art heathen; I don't consider good art to be merely conceptual. Perhaps other people prefer bluntness in their art, an in-your-face shout, an obvious depiction of meaning without the artist really reasoning anything through. But I would compare it to the op-ed columns of student newspapers (or any op-ed columns, come to think of it) where everything is bluster, black and white. No complexity.
If ancient Rome had the Internet... "The soothsayer's "Ides of March" email fails to get Caesar's proper attention as it's inadvertently filtered into his junk folder."
Card Catalog Generator (via So Anyway) I love this kind of stuff. (I mean, that's obvious given that my personal bookmarks are arranged in Dewey Decimal.) Maybe I should convert my links page into a card catalog...
Driving Orientation: A World Map. This doesn't just tell you where you'll be driving left or right--it's also a visual for past colonialism.
The Laugh Gap Explained. Hm. Interesting theories, but I personally don't laugh very much. I don't try to be funny either, but it's not because I'm afraid to be undignified. I guess I'm just somewhat humorless.
And here's my link for Earth Day: 10 Most Magnificent Trees in the World. Go look at some pretty pictures while I head to the recycling center to turn in some dead tree media.
Killer Reflection. No doubt, people are going to try to work the racial angle too. But I agree with the author--just because you're a quiet Asian kid under pressure doesn't mean that you'll go on a killer spree. Heck, I'm Asian, quiet, and often under pressure, but you don't see me going off half-cocked. The problem I have with all this exhaustive analysis in the media recently is that I get the impression that people just want to find the indicator that will tell people immediately that an individual has gone over the edge. There is no one indicator--you have to look at the whole picture.
The creative writing angle. After learning about the shooting at Virginia Tech, I was feeling fairly pessimistic about the human race. Shocked? I suppose, to some degree, but earlier in the month there was a shooting death of one of the undergraduates at my school, too. That was fairly shocking because this town is considered pretty safe. Some people even leave their doors unlocked and don't get things broken into.
As for the CBSnews article that Eden mentioned in the link above--my first reaction was a sort of "I can't believe they're using that as a reason why the shooting happened." If a creative writing teacher can't tell between fact and fiction--well, never mind. Many creative writing classes I have taken were a bunch of bunk. And it should be obvious that English professors are not psychology experts.
Anyways, as a student who moonlights writing weird fiction, I resent the fact that someone is trying to pigeon-hole all writers of disturbing fiction as gun-toting depressive maniacs. It's an implication that the only acceptable writing is "happy" writing. Pfft. You might as well dose the entire populace let alone the literary critics with soma.
Am I on a roll or what? I just received word that I got another short story accepted. No screaming though. With the exception of this blog, I'm keeping mum.
Ah, notice the insane time this post went up. I'm still in lab, you know, and with fifteen minutes of down time, I'd thought to blog something to keep myself awake...
Why is it that when one person uses a word, that word starts popping up everywhere like a meme? Can't people use a bit of creativity and use another term? (Yes, I saw the same word being used by many of the blogs I have recently visited. No, I won't say what this word is so you won't be able to bother me with it.)
Onesome: Heroes-- from the movies? Who was your hero in a movie, TV show or book when you were growing up?
Hm. I'm not sure. If I have to think more than five seconds on this one, I probably don't have a hero (or heroine). The thing is, I don't think of a character as being my hero, merely a hero considering the context. And sometimes not even that--just a main character, a protagonist.
Twosome: and-- while we're at it: any 'new' heroes in any shows or books lately?
No.
Threesome: Villains-- can be "bad guys" or just plain scary; which one scared the heck out of you as a kid? (No flashbacks, please; just go for a bad guy if you'd prefer!)
It was in an old fantasy movie--some sort of tar monster living in the dungeon wanting to make out with the damsel in distress. I don't remember the title or who starred in it (or even what the plot was), but I thought it was pretty scary. Definitely scarier than that wussy entity that killed Tasha Yar in Star Trek: The Next Generation.
I was also pretty freaked out by the Incredible Hulk when I was three. But I guess that doesn't really count because the Hulk is not a bad guy.
Readers Say The Darnest Things. First of all: Are they insane? Maybe that lady's reading group is on crack, but 500 pages is not a fast read, no matter what anybody says. And who the hell would recommend a book because it's a "fast read" even if you hated it? I wouldn't recommend a bad book even if it was just 20 pages long.
Everyone in lab would probably think me crazy if I suddenly jumped up and screamed. So I guess I'll settle for smiling enigmatically the rest of the day.
In between preparations for the next experiment, I have about thirty minutes of down time so I decided to check my e-mail. After a bunch of seminar notices and the latest proposal swap from my PI, I came across a note from an editor who has decided to accept one of my short stories for publication.
My first fiction sale. Wait. Make that: My first fiction sale!!!!!!!
And before you ask, no, I'm not going to quit my day job.
I recently saw the documentary Word Wars about competitive Scrabble. All I can say is, crazy--just plain crazy. I can't fathom how people can devote their entire lives to a game. But then you could argue that it's more than just a game: it's a mental challenge. Yeah, whatever. What kind of life is it if all you do is to hone a useless skill?
Onesome: Bugs-- Bunny? Roadrunner? The Jetsons? What was (is?) your favorite cartoon series?
Hm, it's been a while. I don't know if they're my favorite, but I do remember watching Bugs Bunny et al.
Twosome: on the-- Waterfront? Classic movies too: which is your all time favorite? Nope, it has to be at least ten years old! (You can cheat with a holiday favorite if you'd like...)
I don't really have a favorite movie. Maybe I'll just make a cop-out and say that old Star Wars trilogy.
Threesome: "Windshield-- wipers slappin'/keepin'...", now there's a song lyric! How many songs can you name with those words in them? Go ahead, use the net. Which one is the most upbeat? We're all about information here!
The only song I found through my brief googling was this one. I've never heard of this one before, but I sort of have my doubts on whether or not it is happy.
The Mysterious Harriet Klausner. (Also see the follow-up.) If you've spent any time on Amazon, you'll notice that the top reviewer has allegedly read a whole lot of books. An impossible number, really. And there are no negative reviews. One would think that going through that many books you'd come across a bad apple at least once in a while.
Stalking Strangers' DNA to Fill in the Family Tree. Amateur genealogists going to extremes to discover family. To me, it seems ethically murky. And I don't really see the point of finding out who's related to who. (Well, unless you expect you have an unknown half-brother floating around somewhere.) If you go far back enough, everyone's related.
