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Tuesday, May 21, 2002 The Tuesday Too: 1. Do you have a "little kid" adventure story? Consider the term "little kid" relative to your age. I have many. Here's #472 (just kidding, I don't number my stories): When I was in elementary school, we used to live near a girl and her younger brother who came over to befriend us when we moved in during the summer. I didn't know what to make of her--she was rather ditzy, absent-minded, and rambunctious. Her parents held her back a year citing maturity concerns (but that seemed like a stupid idea in itself, she was prone to bits of ego-trips even without lording over younger children). She howled whenever she didn't get her way. My sister and I would privately make fun of her by making up songs about her screaming when she missed the school bus. One summer while I was lounging outside on a swingset the previous owners had built, she ran over dressed in a blue swimsuit with black polka-dots. Curious. It wasn't that hot and her parents didn't have a pool. To my knowledge, she wasn't going to the public pool either. "Come on! There's this really cool place!" Her idea of cool places was tresspassing on the neighbors' yards. I wasn't too keen on the idea. One of our neighbors had enclosed his entire back yard with a five-foot-high chain link fence. Inside was a scraggly bulldog as big as my sister's tricycle. He liked walking to the fence to stare at us and drool. But no, this time she was talking about the neighbor directly in the back of us. She tore off one of the lavender flowers from the towering honeysuckle hedge that curtained our yard from the yard beyond. She sucked on the petals, making squealing noises. "It's sweet," she informed us. I didn't want to touch them. Bugs could have been crawling over them five minutes ago. My sister tried one anyway, but blanched and clawed the flowers off her tongue. Definitely not tasty. "You have to see it," she told us, finally spitting out mangled petals like a seasoned tabacco chewer. She immediately tore into the greenery and disappeared. I shrugged and followed. The honeysuckle had covered a fence, but there was a gap that led to the other side. Even more strangely, the ground was worn away--someone had frequently used this passageway. Golden light shone through from the other side, and I was immediately reminded of The Secret Garden and I wondered if I had just stepped into a book. This new yard was a bright spring green. The most prominent feature was a giant weeping willow, its leaves brushing the ground. I stood there, stunned for a moment. Here was an escape, a small hidden alcove in the suburbian jungle. And then she let out one of her infamous ear-piercing screams. The tree only partially hid the neighbor's house. When I looked more closely, I saw a shadow lurking in one of the windows. We ended up fleeing after her. 2. What issue would you like to see the Supreme Court of the United States grapple with, or perhaps there's a case you feel they should re-think? Why this particular issue or case? Hm. This is a hard one. I haven't been catching up on the latest Supreme Court rulings. Maybe I'll answer this one later when I've had more sleep and a clearer mind. 3. What is the URL of the most weird site, or the URL of what you consider a dangerous site? If it's a dangerous site, why do you think it's dangerous. I cannot pick just one. What I think of as weird changes from day to day. There are definitely some amusing sites that I like such as The Brunching Shuttlecocks that has some weird stuff. I don't know about dangerous sites. Everything is dangerous because information is dangerous. 4. You wake-up on death row, and you realize it's not a dream. Even though there is copy of Death Row for Dummies on your bed, you decide to question the guard. What do you ask, and what advice does he/she give you? Why am I in death row anyway? Who did I kill? I don't think the guard would be very responsive anyway. What sort of advice do you give a condemned criminal? Find religion and pray for forgiveness? Try to appeal or whatever legalese is required to get out? Grin it and bear it? I'll probably look at the Death Row for Dummies book first. Maybe I've been inadvertently placed in a mind game experiment. Entirely different: Apparently Jay Leno is coming on campus tomorrow for filming. May I suggest amassing some water balloons and super soakers to give the illustrious Tonight Show host a big wet welcome? Stephen Jay Gould, Biologist and Theorist on Evolution, Dies at 60. The scientific world needs more great writers like him. As many have said, he will be missed. [posted by S. Y. Affolee on 6:56 PM : ]
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